Thursday, 7 May 2020


We are all in the same boat right now in lockdown and its not great.  Most of us will have canceled holidays, weekends away with friends etc. We have cancelled five I believe now so pretty fed up about that but grateful to still be alive. Life is certainly different now and I feel sure I did not appreciate before how good it was to be able to associate with family and friends until it was taken away from me.  I will do my best not to moan much on here!  

My meds have been a pain.  I was just titrating up on the new med selexipag when there was an issue with my getting more delivered so I had to drop down again!  This does not seem an issue but those of you on meds that cause side effects we need to get used to will know the despair I felt  when I had to do that.  After a few days the new ones arrived but all of this took me two weeks out of going up to a higher dose. I am currently on 1000 mugs and hope to increase next Monday.  To make matters even worse I was delivered the wrong drug too from Health care at home.  Not their fault as the script was written by my ph nurse who just wrote sildenafil on the said script.  I cannot take it.  I must always take Viagara as the coating on the generic form does not help me at all.  Idiot me was out of it with the new drug so I took the sildenafil for a couple of days before I realised quite why I was feeling as bad as I was.  Fortunately we have a two week emergency supply of our meds { though not of course yet the selexipag } so I was able to get back to a normality of sorts.  Anyway the good news is that my levels in my lungs have dropped to a great level though with side effects I am yet to feel the benefit but feel sure that will come.

Strange how life in lock down makes us appreciate just the little things.  We do keep ourselves busy.  Izzy has her schoolwork each morning and we are now incorporating in that things like making sour dough starter etc.  Life cannot be all about maths and english so a little baking enters into it from time to time and showing her how easy it is to make homemade lemon curd in the microwave etc. We just might make a cook out of her yet.  

I am busy in the garden growing my veg from scratch.  Seeds have been on our window ledges and each day they have been tended carefully. My cucumber plants are growing a storm and Izzy who loves cucumbers is always checking them out.  I have my tomato plants inside yet too but they will shortly be allowed out when fear of any frost is gone. In my veg patch growing beautifully are my peas, { runner beans will join them shortly when they are big enough from the house} romanesco, lettuce spring onions, beetroot, strawberries, squash {a plant given to me by my ex boss } and radishes.  In a small bed my spuds are growing a storm and I love it when they get just right to collect.  Nothing like pulling a plant and to see all those lovely new spuds waiting for the pot.  I have maris piper and reds growing now.  In the banks of our house we have blueberry bushes planted and this year I can allow them to fruit { last year I had to remove all fruit to allow it more growth}  We have two of these and raspberry canes are growing up our fences so we have utilised all the space we have.  I have even put some peas to grow in front of our sweet peas at it should not impact either of them. Plums are appearing at last on our tree though so tiny.  We have ordered nets to cover them to protect them from the birds and we might even put nets around our apple tree.  We have squirrels all around us so need to protect from them too. 

All the plants from last year have grown big!!!!  I am shifting plants around as some are hiding others now and my lavender did not like its position so that has been moved.  A friend has been kind and gave us a super bush to grow to hide a spot where our digger driver when shifting soil went a bit crazy on the bank and took out too much.  Today he has donated yet another plant that we will put into another bank that should help to cover it.  Eventually I want this particular bank to be an array of colours but all creeping plants that take care of themselves to a degree.

The beds are growing flowers beautifully and last year I planted tulips of different varieties. They have all grown so well and some even have five to seven heads on one stem.  I was so pleased to see my peony - planted in memory of my mom - has survived and has some lovely buds on it.  The plum tree we have grown is in memory of my elder brother we sadly lost and my dad.  

It's good to talk

I talk to a ph friend Kate Shephard who began the drug around the same time as me so we do keep ourselves up to date with how we are doing and Paula Joanne Smitham sends me regular updates of her titration and life so that is good.  George Gaskin has always been a bit special to me and sometimes when I am down he is my go to person as I know he will understand how I feel from time to time and not judge me. We are all in the same boat.  Yesterday I received another letter from the government telling me what I already know, that we are to stay shielded for another eight weeks.  We know though that until there is a vaccine we are in a dangerous position so must not try to move faster than we are told.  A lovely friend from my Thespian days sadly lost his cousin to this covid disease so it is all around us, so many are touched by this. 

I do try to get exercise and on my goodish days we walk as a family.  I do always take a mask and we go where there are few if any people about.  I did notice today though as I went to pick more rhubarb from my friends garden that there are more cars on he road, almost back to normality and I wonder why as lockdown is still here with us yet.  We make sure the my mobility scooter is always charged.  My trusty steed for my poor days must not be allowed to break down,  it is not redundant.  

On our close there will be a celebration of VE day {social distancing } though I am not quite sure how it will work.  I will not of course attend but it is good to know that through all this we can still bring to mind all that was done for us in the past which was huge, so many sacrificed lives so that we had the freedom we do now.  Then as now we owe so much to so many.  

I had two letters yesterday from a debt collection agency!!!!!!!  I was horrified as I knew I was not responsible for the debt.  It turns out that one day in March a company called Deliveroo  {what on earth is that} delivered a meal costing £84.60.  We of course were not the people it was delivered to and so we were put onto the fraud team.  I hope they find where it was delivered and take the appropriate action,  In the meantime my card has been stopped and they will send me another one.  Thank goodness this was spotted so soon and all monies they say I owe have been deleted.  We never order take aways as we tend to cook all from scratch or go out for a meal, not allowed now of course. 

Saying that about take out we are hoping though to get fish n chips today! This will be a rare treat and Chris is going to go to Catch to collect.  You book a slot, give them your order and go on the day and time and sit in your car.  When your order is ready it is brought out to your car and put in your boot.  When we get it delivered here we will put it immediately in a hot oven to kill any covid that may be lurking and then go and sit in the garden and enjoy!  It's the little things now that bring much pleasure.  Though we have two fabulous lawns Colin has created a super spot outside our back door and it has been flagged with indian stones.  We have a fire here and a bar b que and table and chairs.  Who would have believed so much could be done with our gardens  We are blessed.  So it is here we will enjoy our fish n chips!  No cooking tonight, what a treat.  

It is cleaning day and the house smells wonderful with dettol and bleach, I love these smells.  Our hands, though once so dry with the constant washing are gradually healing.  Of course we wash often but I think our skin is adapting, getting used to the soaps and anti bacteria wipes we are using. Life adjusts to the new normal.

Received a very welcome text and pic today from Paul and Julie.  They bought our villa we had built in Spain and they were the very generous ones who said we can go and stay in the apartment we had built under the house. I loved our apartment and though we rarely stayed in it as we of course lived in the villa I did enjoy the times we did use it.. I just can't wait and along with the pic he sent of what was our pomegranate tree now in bud he brought back the memories of our walks through the woods to the golf course for lunch. I can smell the pine trees now as our villa was built in the woods. These woods hold so many secrets when you find and unlock them  all. They have not found them all out yet so if he still has not when we do manage to go we will take great delight in showing them both. Into the pine woods, down  through the lovely trees, through an almond field and onto the fennel field, over the road and through the vineyard and up through a lovely housing estate and it brings you down to the ponds where the biggest fish ever are!  This is the edge of the golf course and I know I WILL go there again, I just need to have patience.  I do not think we will fly for a while though and will drive down, taking our time and staying in the lovely Parador hotels and vineyards along our way. All things to look forward to.  We were so blessed that they bought our villa. They keep bringing it alive again for us. 

Though we are in lockdown now we have done so much in our lives and we really are blessed so on my bad days  will try to go to that place where I was so happy. Our villa for one. In fact I have many.memories and will try to dwell there when  feel down. We also loved it when we lived in America and we made many friends there. All of us must have many memories we need to unlock now as we are being shielded.  One day we will hopefully be able to run free. Well for my ph brothers and sisters of course run will not be on the cards but get out, drive the car, walk on that beach, take the trails through the wood etc. One day ........... !!!!!!!

For now all take care, let me know how you are doing and please try to write a comment so I know you are doing ok.  

Warm love to you all

Carole xxx

1 comment:

  1. Your garden sounds amazing Carole. We rarely plant cool weather veggies (Would be doing so in winter here in Texas) but our various squash, tomatoes,, peppers and chili peppers are all thriving and beginning to flower. And our herbs are unbelievably happy (except the rosemary, it is a little slow compared to the others). Even though things here are opening up I am not venturing out. I do, hallelujah, havea hair appointment the 21. I am ready. Stay well my friend.